Women Aren’t ‘Less Confident’—We Just Have More to Lose

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Photo Credit: Garrett Naccarato, Vince

CAREER + MONEY

Women Aren’t ‘Less Confident’—We Just Have More to Lose

We’ve all heard it before—women just need to be more confident. But what if the problem isn’t self-belief, but the very real consequences of stepping outside the lines? . Here’s why the “confidence gap” narrative misses the mark and what’s really holding women back.

BY HARRIET ISHBEL SWEENEY / 07 MARCH 2025

Photo Credit:Garrett Naccarato, Vince

For years, we've been told that the reason women don’t ask for more, go for the promotion, or take up space in male-dominated fields is simple: we lack confidence. Cue the self-help books, the TED Talks, the endless advice to ‘lean in’ as if imposter syndrome is just a minor personality flaw we can shake off with a power stance.

But here’s the thing: women aren’t inherently less confident than men. The difference is, we’re working within a system where the consequences of failure are simply greater.

confidence isn’t the problem—risk is

Studies show that when women negotiate salaries, they’re far more likely to face backlash than their male counterparts (Harvard Business Review). When women in leadership assert themselves, they’re judged more harshly than men in the same roles. And when we take risks in business, finance, or public life, we don’t just get a ‘nice try’ pat on the back—we get scrutiny, criticism, and sometimes, career-damaging consequences.

In short, the stakes aren’t the same. It’s not about lacking confidence; it’s about calculating risk in a way men rarely have to.

Photo Credit: Vince

the ‘confidence gap’ myth

A common argument suggests that men apply for jobs when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, while women wait until they meet 100% (Hewlett-Packard Study). But let’s flip that—if women are more hesitant, isn’t it worth asking why? Could it be that women are conditioned to believe mistakes aren’t just learning curves, but potential career-ending missteps?

how to navigate a biased system

Since the system isn’t changing overnight, here are some actionable steps women can take to advocate for themselves and build career resilience:

Reframe ‘Failure’ as Experience

Every misstep is a learning opportunity, not a reflection of your worth. Successful people fail often—they just don’t let it define them.

Negotiate with Strategy

Research salary benchmarks, document your wins, and practice negotiation conversations to strengthen your case (Payscale Salary Guide).

Seek Out Allies

Build a strong network of mentors and sponsors who can advocate for you in rooms you’re not in.

Take Strategic Risks

If you hesitate before applying for a job, remind yourself that qualifications can be learned—confidence comes with experience.

Push for Systemic Change

If you're in a leadership role, advocate for policies that support women, such as transparent pay scales and equal parental leave.

what needs to change

Instead of telling women to ‘fix’ their confidence, maybe we need to fix the environment that makes risk-taking so much harder for them. That means addressing workplace biases, creating cultures where women feel safe to fail and try again, and challenging the deeply ingrained stereotypes that punish female ambition.

Women don’t need confidence workshops. We need a playing field that doesn’t punish us for playing the game.

For more insights on gender bias and workplace culture, check out McKinsey & Company’s Women in the Workplace Report.

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