Have We Become Scared To Be Alone For Fear Of Not Being 'Fun'
Delve into the modern dilemma of our reluctance to embrace solitude, questioning whether the fear of being perceived as 'not fun' drives our discomfort with being alone. Uncover insights into the societal pressures and personal growth opportunities tied to solitude, and discover ways to navigate this cultural shift towards valuing our own company.
By Davina Catt / Jan 14 2024
Our digital world is constantly selling us the idea of ‘having fun.’
From FOMO to constantly creating ‘perfectly created squares,’ we have become scared to be alone for fear of not being ‘fun.’ Enjoy a quiet January without worrying about ‘fun.’
Marilyn Monroe famously remarked, ‘I restore myself alone. A career is born in public, talent in privacy.’
However, in today’s social media world where boundaries no longer exist between private and public, careers are ‘born’ out of anywhere, and notion of illusion versus reality is impossible to distinguish, are any of us able to be alone, living in a global epidemic of having to have ‘fun’?
Life seemingly has become beholden to Instagram tropes – ‘that cool girl’ of the past few years which was written about HERE – that we (often without realising) imbibe and place immeasurable pressure on ourselves to live up to. And now a new life goal has reached its social media zenith – the need to always appear to be having ‘fun.’
From the picture perfect tablescapes of weekly dinners, the handwritten calligraphy cards, personally embroidered napkins, to the requisite outfit changes, sunny getaways and quirky 35mm filters – this isn’t any old ‘fun’, this isn’t even going all out at a sweat infested rave, ‘fun’ in 2023 has to be perfectly choreographed and captured.
As we are in a bleak, awkward January month still trying to get back into a work, life routine whilst still secretly enjoying languid evenings with silk PJ’s and a good book, anxiety escalates glancing at feeds full of new year escapades and more ‘fun.’
“Am I boring?” “Have I become boring?” “Am I a loner?” “Is there something wrong with me?” are all thoughts that circulate my already overthinking thought patterns until they end up as psychological discord.
And so the cycle continues – as we feel more anxious during ‘alone’ time at home, the more we turn to social media feeds for a quick hit of other people’s ‘fun’ times.
Good times are no longer shared with or compared with just your friends or neighbours now they are shared and compared with the world creating greater expectation and anxiety.
We now even have books on the subject, such as The Power of Fun (Catherine Price) to remind us that fun is not just optional, it is absolutely essential to our lives.
So going back to Monroe’s quote, how can we make peace with ourselves, that perhaps our ‘fun-nest’ evening is tucked up in bed with an old movie, or that even for those that use Instagram in a business capacity sometimes the most powerful form of saying something is silence, that indeed ‘talent is born in privacy,’ without feeling #fomo and anxiety?
how to enjoy january without the "i'm not fun" anxiety
Life might be short and there is no better way to document thoughts and experiences than privately in your journal – writing in diary form doesn’t exert much time or energy and see it as working toward a final goal – such as compiling a book.
Along with being self-fulfilling, re-decorating your home space, curating art pieces and so forth can be documented online along the way – so it’s not all #fomo!
If we are centred and aligned in ourselves outside events and circumstances have less power to derail us. In just one session you can re-connect to yourself and align chakras.
Manifestation techniques can be used to create or draw in the things you do want to happen this year.