There’s a subtle, but pervasive narrative that runs through the fertility industry: women have to be “on top of their game” and have everything planned, including their reproductive futures, at every stage of life. This narrative starts young—think of all the “You should freeze your eggs” conversations that women have to endure in their thirties, or the constant social media reminders about how “fertility drops at 35.” It’s this unrelenting pressure to have it all figured out that leads so many women to feel inadequate, like their bodies are ticking time bombs, just waiting to go off.

Let’s call it: the fertility industry needs to stop treating women like they’re out of time. It’s not just the shaming of women over age (because let’s face it, not all women want to have kids) but also how it implies that reproductive choices are simple, linear, and universally accessible. The stigma around fertility can be particularly isolating for women who are choosing not to have children, or for those whose journey may take longer, or follow an unexpected route.

Furthermore, the messaging that comes from clinics, media, and the wellness industry can make women feel like their bodies are “failing” them if they don’t meet the fertility timeline set by society. But life doesn’t always work on a neat timeline. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to fertility, and the industry’s assumption that it’s a race against time only adds unnecessary anxiety.