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    Sexting Tips: The Do’s, The Don’ts, and The Rules

    Liv Surtees

    Getting into bed and receiving a picture of the person you fancy in theirs, sharing fantasies and mid-day nudes with your partner whilst they’re at work, and exploring your sexuality via back-and-forth texts with new crushes: sexting is great.

    Whether it’s a form of foreplay before you get home to your partner or you’re trying to create a more sexual relationship with a recent connection, there are tonnes of benefits to having a good sexting session!

    But, what if you struggle to sext or how you don’t know how to protect yourself when you’re sexting? Well, here is your go-to guide for sexting! 

    Buckle up and let’s dive in.



    What Is Sexting?

    Sexting literally refers to sexually texting. This can range all the way from sending a funny but sexual innuendo all the way up to being hot and steamy over Facetime with someone. However, assuming most people land somewhere in the middle, sexting is most commonly about sharing sexual texts and/or videos with someone.

    It’s incredibly important to clarify that whilst several sources online state that sexting is “sexting is sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit messages, photographs, or videos, primarily between mobile phones” (cough cough, Wikipedia), it does not have to include the sharing of images. More importantly, though, forwarding sexually explicit images without the consent of the person within the image is known as revenge porn (even if not shared with malice) and is a criminal offence.

    Whilst we’re going to take a deeper look into the “rules” of sexting later in this article so that you can stay safe whilst sexting, it’s important to acknowledge that sexting is a clear and mutually consented-to exchange of messages, images, or videos, between people, right from the get-go.



    Why Can Sexting Actually Be So Powerful?

    Sexting, especially when in the early stages of a relationship, can help you not only tease your partner and bring a more sexual element to the relationship you are starting, but it can also help you understand the types of desires your partner has. 

    This communication, regardless of how caught up in the moment you may both get, does allow you to have a more open and honest dialogue with one another about sex and the things you would like to do together.

    Within relationships that are more established, sexting can invite an element of sexual excitement and even seduction into the relationship. Often, couples in long-term relationships look past sexting, especially once

    However, sexting doesn’t just allow you to explore connections with others, it can also help you to explore your own sexuality and voicing your desires can help you step into a more confident role, both within and without the bedroom. Of course, there’s also the benefit of getting told some pretty hot things by someone you like. 

    So, it’s a win-win for everyone, as long as it’s done right!



    How To Start Sexting: 5 Tips

    Ready to bring your imagination forward and put the dull words behind you, getting the person on the other side of the screen hot, heavy, and desperately wanting you? Use these 5 tips to nail (pun very much intended) sexting:



    Know That Timing Is Everything

    If you’ve ever received a nude whilst you’re up to your eyeballs in deadlines at work or a sexy text when you’re sat on the toilet with a stomach bug, you already know that timing is everything when it comes to sexting. 

    So, if you’re the one wanting to initiate the sexting, make sure you choose an opportune time to do so. Since you might not know your partner’s every move throughout the day, you can ease in with a slightly dirty text and see what you’re met with, or you can go with the safe option: nighttime when you know they’re probably in bed!


    Start Slow and Focus On Teasing

    Again, relate things to your own experience! Have you ever received a dick pic of the bat? Yeah, it’s not hot! So, don’t do the equivalent. Instead, send some flirty texts to warm up the atmosphere or send a photo that actually does leave a lot to the imagination but is still a little provocative and teases them. 

    Once you’re both definitely feeling it and the sexting is back and forth, then you can get a little more graphic!


    Use Your Imagination and Don’t Be Afraid To Share What Turns You On

    There’s nothing worse than a dry, unsexy, and overdone conversation. So, don’t be afraid to use your imagination and share what turns you on. After all, this is a time when you can fully express yourself and exploring your sexuality is a big part of this, as well as letting your partner on the other side of the screen know what your desires are. 

    Of course, you can search for examples of dirty texts to send, but these might be a little bit generic. Instead, why not refer to sexy moments you’ve shared together or something you’ve been really eager to try with them?


    Ask Questions

    Whilst you definitely don’t want it to seem like you’re playing 21 questions (unless that’s actually your approach), asking questions whilst you’re sexting is a great idea - it gets the conversation flowing, helps you find out what your partner’s desires are, and makes it feel less like you have to be the leader.

    For example, you could ask things like, “what would you love to do to me the next time you see me?” or “tell me what turns you on about our sex”.


    Do What Makes You Feel Sexy

    If you have to force sexting or you’re actually not feeling turned on in the moment, it’s not going to be a fun experience and your partner might even notice. So, sext in a way that makes you feel your sexiest and get into it, whether that means taking hot photos of yourself or speaking about a specific fantasy you want to share with your partner.



    Sexting Rules: How To Stay Safe

    Whilst sexting is intimate, exciting, and downright HOT, there are some things you have to bear in mind when you’re engaging in it. Unfortunately, sexting can sometimes turn nasty if you’re not careful and you might end up with repercussions you didn’t expect, such as your nudes getting leaked or forwarded. 

    However, don’t panic just yet! You can still enjoy sexting, all you need to do is just have to follow a few guidelines to make sure you’re staying safe!  


    Sext With People You Trust

    Whilst you may want to hop in and sext that guy you met last night from Hinge, you might want to wait a little bit until you’ve developed at least a bit of trust with them. 

    Obviously, it’s down to personal preference of when you choose to sext someone, but sexting with someone you trust allows you to be more open, honest, and explorative.

    Unlike messages though, nudes or explicit photos should only be sent to those that you trust. After all, you never know where these photos could be ending up or who could be seeing them.


    Always Ask For Consent First

    Consent is sexy, and whilst you don’t have to ask, “do you consent to me sexting you?”, as that sounds a little clinical, you can say things like, “would you mind if I sent you a cute, naughty photo of myself?” alongside a fun emoji. Once you have their consent, send away, if you want to!


    Keep Your Face and Things That Clearly Identify You Out Of Your Nudes

    However much you trust someone, you never know what could happen in the future and how that relationship will evolve over time. Therefore, you should always follow the rule of not putting your face or any aspects of your body that clearly identify you in a nude. 

    After all, these could potentially end up getting leaked or shared. Although this is illegal and you could choose to take legal action, it’s notoriously hard to do so. So, be one step ahead always, and protect yourself. 

    It’s also good to note that if someone is asking for a nude specifically with your face in it, that’s a red flag: run!


    Keep Nudes Sexy, Not Biological

    Nudes should be fun, sexy, and flirty, not like looking in a high school science book about genitals. So, it’s a good idea to keep your more intimate areas out of any photos you’re taking, not only to feel a little sexier, but to protect yourself even more if your photos were ever shared.


    Explore Your Comfort Zone But Stick To Your Boundaries

    Whilst you might be happy to explore fantasy ideas and get a little dirtier than you imagined you would, you should always stick to your boundaries when sexting. For example, if you’re someone that doesn’t want to send nudes but the person you're sexting is repeatedly asking for them, don’t give in. 

    Even if you might want to do something at a specific moment, not sticking to the boundaries you have may cause you to end up feeling regretful or used at a later date.


    The Takeaways

    Sexting is wonderful - it allows you to deepen the sexual tension, between you and the person on the other side of the screen, explore your own sexuality, and it can help you to communicate desires and fantasies in a low-pressure way.

    As long as you’re safe whilst you’re sexting, you’re going to have the best time ever, promise! So, what are you waiting for? Go and text them!

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