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    What Is A Sex Cleanse & How Can It Actually Upgrade Your Life

    Whether your sex life is a little less enjoyable than you would like, you’re struggling with the relationship you have with sex as an individual, or you feel like you’ve taken on negative energy through having sex with someone and you want to get rid of it, you could benefit massively from honing in on energetic exchanges during sex and cleansing yourself of any negative energy you’re holding on to, through a sex cleanse.

    By Liv Surtees / Nov 16, 2022

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    Condoms, birth control, peeing after sex, sex toys, positions, sexuality - these are all things that we associate with sexual wellness. Whilst it’s obviously important to explore these topics surrounding sex, there’s one that often falls through the cracks: the energetic exchange during sex.

    Whether your sex life is a little less enjoyable than you would like, you’re struggling with the relationship you have with sex as an individual, or you feel like you’ve taken on negative energy through having sex with someone and you want to get rid of it, you could benefit massively from honing in on energetic exchanges during sex and cleansing yourself of any negative energy you’re holding on to, through a sex cleanse.

    Whilst a sex cleanse might not sound like the most appealing thing, since it’s essentially practising abstinence from something you probably quite enjoy, it can actually be incredibly beneficial for your relationship with your body and your sexuality, whilst also leading to a better sex life in the future.

    So, are you ready to think about your sexual wellness from an energetic standpoint and ger cleansing? Let’s dive straight in.

    what is a sex cleanse? 

    A sex cleanse is a period of time when you abstain from having sex. However, the way in which people do sex cleanses differentiates. So, you can create your own set of rules for your sex cleanse depending on what you want from it.

    Let’s take a look at two examples of the most common types of sex cleanse to see how vast the differences can be!

    For example, if a married couple do a sex cleanse, it may last a month, in which they will agree to not engage in having sex with each other and they may not even masturbate. The purpose of this cleanse might be to build up the desire they have for each other and improve their sex lives after the cleanse.

    On the other hand, for example, if a single person that casually dates decides to do a sex cleanse this might mean that they stop sleeping with casual partners and not have sex until they develop a positive emotional connection with someone. However, they will still enjoy self-pleasure during this time. The purpose of this cleanse might be to stop sharing sexual energy with people without a deeper emotional connection or to protect their own sexual energy from being impacted negatively.

    Regardless of the type of rules you set for yourself, a sex cleanse needs to be a conscious decision (you can’t just say you’re doing one because your sex life is a little dry!) and have an aim for a positive outcome behind it.

    sexual health

    benefits of a sex cleanse 

    So, what are the benefits of doing a sex cleanse? 

    Although Kourtney Kardashian might have recently done one because she was told it may increase fertility levels, this, unfortunately, doesn’t feature on our list since it’s not scientifically proven! However, we do have 4 common benefits that people experience when doing a sex cleanse. 

    So, let’s take a look at them!

    you can get rid of any negative energy you’ve taken onboard

    Whether you’ve had sex with someone that had the aura of a grey cloud or you’re wanting to heal yourself after breaking up with someone who caused you a lot of emotional pain, doing a sex cleanse is a great way to push away negative energy (especially if you’re doing energy cleansing practices) and get back to your authentic energetic self.

    it can help you stop going through dysfunctional dating patterns.

    If you’re someone that casually dates but seems to get stuck in toxic dating patterns or you’re actually not fulfilled by casually sleeping with people, a sex cleanse can put a pause on this and help you date with better intentions that actually align with what you want, and help you develop a clearer frame of mind of how you feel towards sex with others.

    sexual tension improves between partners

    If you’re in a relationship and doing a sex cleanse, the sexual tension between you and your partner will have time to build up (especially if neither of you is masturbating), which you may have been missing from the relationship before if you were having very regular sex in a habitual way.

    sex becomes more intentional and conscious

    After your sex cleanse has come to an end, you’ll realise that you have a fresh view towards sex, will have probably learnt a few interesting things about yourself, and you’ll be more conscious about your sexual energy in the future. This is likely to lead to better sex with your partner, or better sex with better people!

    how to do a sex cleanse: your guide

    Interested in doing a sex cleanse but still need a bit of guidance as to how to go around it? Well, here’s a complete guide to a sex cleanse, all you have to do is personalise your reasons, goals, and rules!

    Define Your Reasons & Goals

    You probably won’t be thinking about doing a sex cleanse if you don’t have any reason to or any goal in mind of how you want to feel once it’s done. So, take some time to sit down with a journal, take stock of where you are now, why you want to do a sex cleanse, and the outcome that you want to achieve from doing one. Obviously, if you’re doing this with your partner, do this together and practice honest, open communication.

    Create Your Rules

    Whilst there are no hard and fast rules, and of course, you can alter them as you go, it is useful to set some guidelines that you will follow whilst you do a sex cleanse. Whilst you can do a sex cleanse for as long as you want, it’s not really a good idea to do a sex cleanse for less than 3 weeks as it won’t be enough time to experience a real cleanse. Most people try to do a sex cleanse for a month to feel a real change.

    Cleanse Your Energy Regularly With Practises

    If you truly want to do a sex cleanse, it’s a good idea to cleanse your energy! After all, everything is an energetic connection, especially sex - it’s a raw merging of energies. So, you should do energy cleansing practices such as smudging, reiki, cleansing baths, and meditations regularly during this time.

    Look Inwards

    During this time, without anyone else’s sexual energy infiltrating your own, you have a great opportunity to be introspective. So, take the opportunity and think about your relationship with sex, with others, the energy you have, the energy shifts you experience, and your mental health and wellbeing in general. 

    Take A Detox From Porn

    Whilst you can obviously choose to masturbate during a sex cleanse if you like, it’s a good idea to stay away from watching porn, simply because it involves other people having sex. If you want to self-pleasure, try to lean into your own sexual energy in a more conscious way, without a screen in your hand and the visual of other people having sex. After all, this time is about taking a step back from others and leaning into yourself. 

    Appreciate Other Types Of Intimacy In Your Relationship

    If you are in a relationship, you will naturally start to appreciate other types of intimacy within your relationship as the sex is on pause for a while. So, lean into that. Cuddle, kiss, hold hands, take baths together, and be intimate - you can still appreciate your partner without having to have sex with them.


    Additionally, this is a great way to build up that sexual tension if that’s you’re goal too!

    break your cleanse: do it consciously

    One of the most important parts of doing a sex cleanse that you have to get right is when you break your cleanse. 

    If you are single, this might mean not jumping right into having sex with someone that has super negative energy and if you’re in a relationship this might mean being more intentional about how you present sex to your partner and bring more conscious thought to the experience. 

    As long as you’re not getting straight back into habits that you were stuck in before, you’re pretty much all good! And, if it ever gets a little difficult again, you know that you can do a sex cleanse as many times as you need!

    the takeaway

    Sex cleanses can be powerful tools to cleanse your energy, develop a deeper relationship with your sexual self, and explore heightened desire and sexual tension with your partner(s). 

    So, if you’re feeling a lull in your sex life or you’re wanting to get rid of stored negative energy from sex, why not give it a go?

    Dr Barbara Sturm


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