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    SOUL //

    How to Know if You're Living Your Purpose (Or Just People-Pleasing)

    Are you chasing your dreams or just ticking boxes to keep everyone else happy? The line between living your purpose and falling into people-pleasing habits can get blurry, but understanding the difference is key to a more fulfilling life. If you’re feeling stuck, drained, or out of sync, this article will help you uncover whether your actions align with your true self—or if it’s time to put you back on the priority list

    By Dandy / Jan 22 2025
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    Ever wondered if you’re genuinely living your best life or just bending over backward to keep everyone else happy? You’re not alone. It's easy to get stuck in a loop where you’re so busy meeting everyone else’s needs that you forget what you actually want or need. But how do you know if you’re truly following your purpose—or just people-pleasing?

     

    Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Here are some signs to figure out whether you’re on your life’s path or just spinning your wheels to make others smile.

    1. you’re exhausted (and not the good kind)

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You’re juggling a million things: work, family, friends, social commitments. You say yes to everything, even when it’s a big ask, because you don’t want to let anyone down. You’re left feeling exhausted—not from a sense of accomplishment, but from trying to keep everyone happy.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You’re still busy, but you’re energized by the work you do because it feels fulfilling and aligned with your values. You’re able to take breaks when needed, and you recognize that taking care of yourself helps you show up as your best self for others.

    2. you feel like you’re just going through the motions

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You’re in a job or a relationship that feels more like a checklist than a passion. You do what’s expected of you, but you can’t remember the last time you felt excited or inspired by what you’re doing. Your actions aren’t really yours—they’re based on what others think you should do.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You’re actively making choices that reflect what you want in life. Your job, hobbies, and relationships bring you joy, even when they challenge you. You can clearly articulate why you’re doing what you’re doing, and it all connects back to your passions and values.
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    3. you feel guilt more than joy

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You agree to help a friend move, even though you’re already drained from a long week at work. Later, you feel resentment bubbling up because you didn’t want to do it in the first place, but you didn’t know how to say no. Your decisions are often motivated by the fear of letting someone down, not by what brings you happiness.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You still help others, but your actions come from a place of genuine desire to give, not from guilt. When you do say no, it feels empowering rather than selfish because you know that honoring your own needs is a form of self-respect. And guess what? Saying no also helps you show up better for the people you care about.

    4. your goals aren’t actually yours

    The People-Pleasing Version


    Your “dream job” or “perfect life” looks exactly like what society or your family expects of you. Maybe you’ve always thought you’d follow in your parents’ footsteps, or you’re pursuing a career because it sounds impressive, not because it sparks your passion. You’ve never stopped to ask if it’s truly what you want.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You have clarity about what you want to achieve, even if it doesn’t align with what others expect. Maybe you’ve always wanted to start a business, take a gap year, or move to a new city. Your goals are uniquely yours because they reflect your passions, interests, and values, not someone else’s idea of success.

    5. you keep sacrificing yourself for others

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You often put other people’s needs ahead of your own, even if it leaves you feeling drained or unappreciated. You say yes to dinner plans, even though you’ve had a long day, because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. You put your own desires on the back burner because helping others feels like the right thing to do.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You help others, but you also recognize the importance of balance. You make time for yourself, knowing that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You create boundaries that allow you to support others without losing sight of your own needs, making sure that you can give from a place of abundance, not depletion.

    6. you constantly seek external validation

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You can’t make a decision without checking with someone else first. Whether it’s asking your friends if your outfit looks okay, or waiting for your boss’s approval before moving forward with a project, you’re always seeking reassurance. You feel unsure of your choices without that external validation.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You’re able to trust your own judgment and make decisions with confidence. External validation still feels nice, but it’s not the driving force behind your choices. You know what’s best for you, and you’re grounded in your own beliefs and values—your confidence comes from within, not from others’ opinions.

    7. you’re scared of disappointing others

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You’re terrified of saying no to anyone, even when it’s something you don’t want to do. The thought of disappointing a friend or colleague paralyzes you, so you agree to everything—even when it’s at the expense of your own happiness.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You understand that setting boundaries is healthy and necessary. Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care; it just means you’re being true to yourself. You don’t live in fear of disappointing others because you’ve learned that you can’t pour from an empty cup, and that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

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    8. your self-worth depends on others’ approval

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You find yourself constantly looking for affirmation from others. Whether it’s your boss’s praise, your friends’ compliments, or your partner’s approval, you don’t feel “good enough” unless someone else tells you so. Your self-worth is tied to how others see you.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You’ve learned that your worth isn’t dependent on others’ opinions. You know you’re enough just as you are. Your confidence comes from the fact that you’re living authentically, not because someone else says you’re doing well. You know you’re on the right path, even if others don’t always understand your journey.

    9. your inner voice is overpowered by outer expectations

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You’re always second-guessing your decisions because you’re concerned about what others might think. Maybe you’re putting off a dream because you fear judgment from your family, or you’re settling for a job you don’t love because it’s the “safe” choice. You let external expectations drown out your inner desires.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You’ve learned to trust your instincts. When you make decisions, they’re aligned with your values and what feels right to you. Your inner voice is the one you listen to most, and while you take others’ opinions into account, they don’t control your choices. You’re confident in your decisions, no matter what anyone else thinks.

    10. you don’t feel fulfilled

    The People-Pleasing Version


    You’ve spent so much time trying to meet other people’s expectations that you feel like something’s missing. No matter how much you accomplish, you don’t feel a deep sense of fulfillment because you’re not doing what truly lights you up. You’re simply going through the motions, hoping that eventually, you’ll feel happy.

     

    The Purpose-Driven Version


    You feel a deep sense of fulfillment because the work you do, the people you’re with, and the way you spend your time are all in alignment with who you are. Even on tough days, you feel content knowing that you’re living a life that reflects your values and passions. You’re not just checking off boxes—you’re living with intention.

    so, what’s next?

    If any of these signs hit home for you, don’t worry. You can course-correct and start living your purpose—because it’s never too late. It takes self-awareness, a little courage, and a lot of love for yourself, but once you start making choices that align with your heart, the shift will be profound. Trust yourself, be kind to yourself, and remember: You’re not here to please everyone. You’re here to live your life the way you were meant to. And that, my friend, is the most fulfilling path of all.

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