Everything You Need To Know About The Karezza Method, The New Frontier Of Spiritual Sex
Maybe you’ve been to Italy and learned that in the language of love, “carezza” means “caress.” How sweet! Maybe you’re just hearing the words “spiritual” and “sacred” associated with sex —or even sex magic manifesting— and you’re wondering what that’s all about. Maybe you’ve just finished watching Gwyneth Paltrow’s unflinching Netflix show, “Sex, Love & Goop,” and realised that with the help of a sexpert or two, every couple’s sex life could reach whole new heights of pleasure.
Whatever your curiosity stage, rest assured that the Karezza Method is nothing too: a) complicated, b) kinky, if that’s not your thing, and c) to be ashamed to ask about. Here at Dandy, we love exploring all sorts of sexual practices new and old. So, let’s learn everything you need to know about the Karezza Method!
What is the Karezza Method?
The Karezza Method (pronounced ka-ret-za) is a playful and sensual practice that does fall in the “lovemaking” category but not exactly what you’d associate with what’s more known as “fucking.” Whatever could be the difference, you ask? Well, Karezza is focused on intimacy, connection, relaxation, affection, and gentle loving touch.
The clue’s in the name: it’s derived from the Italian word for caress, and as such, it forms the basis of the practice. Relaxed and intentional touch — that’s what Karezza is all about, as described in sex theorist J. William Lloyd’s 1931 seminal book by the same name, “The Karezza Method,” where he first described and popularised the allegedly thousands-of-years-old practice.
Think less passion, and more slow and loving. To borrow another Italian phrase, “chi va sano va piano e va lontano,” or: slow and steady wins the race, and the whole damn world, baby.
Karezza vs “ordinary” sex
The closest thing to the Karezza Method you’d find in the mainstream world of sex is a practice known as edging, which aims to prolong the sexual act through stop-and-start stimulation without ever reaching the point of orgasm for a long period.
Karezza is not about reaching the finish line, but actually learning to enjoy the race. It might sound counterintuitive at first, but if one partner feels like they’re getting close to orgasm throughout the practice, they should actually stop and wait for the moment to pass.
That way, you can keep going and prolong the intimate experience, learning more about your sense of pleasure and your relationship’s degree of intimacy with every minute. In a way, Karezza is similar to tantric sex, which is all about “bringing the mind, body, and spirit fully (...) into a meditative form of sex” to focus on “creating deeper connections, calling forward more intense energies, promoting longer-lasting pleasure, and experiencing sex with a new and expansive frame of mind.”
What are the benefits of the Karezza method?
According to Lloyd, the benefits of the Karezza Method are many and varied. Of course, there’s the obvious: it’s supposed to feel good. But it doesn’t stop there.
From prostatitis to urethritis, but also bladder problems, uterine prolapse, painful menstruation, and everything in between, you can actually Karezza your way out of a number of medical conditions! Even something as common as vaginal discharge could see some improvement with a little bit of caressing.
Additionally, focusing on gentle and loving touch without quite ever reaching the point of orgasm can help raise your dopamine and oxytocin levels (that’s your happy neurochemicals, yay!) but prevent them from dropping back down quite as dramatically as they would after an orgasm. Translated? Feel more intense pleasure, for longer. Jackpot!
A step-by-step guide to getting the Karezza Method right
Before we begin giving you step-by-step instructions, let’s be clear on one thing: it’s totally okay if the Karezza Method is or isn’t for you and your partner! Each relationship is different, and so is each person’s sex drive, relationship to sex itself, and preferred method of getting down and dirty. To each their own, right?
If, instead, Karezza sounds intriguing to you, here’s what to try incorporating in your lovemaking:
- Getting into a relaxed state
- Meditating and deepening your sense of intimacy
- Lovingly staring into each other’s eyes
- Gentle, loving, intentional touch (caressing)
- Gentle, loving, deep kissing
- Saying “I love you” to each other throughout the experience
- Using loving affirmations and repeating them to each other
- Slow and deliberate penetration, without a focus on orgasm
- Skin-to-skin contact of any and all kinds
- Trying to synchronise your breathing and your partner’s
- Massaging each other’s shoulders, back, head, legs, and anywhere else that might feel good
- Positions like spooning, lotus, or lying side-by-side
- Hugging and remaining close for a long time
- Focusing on all the five senses (hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, touching)
- Imagining a flow of energy connecting you and your partner’s body, “seeing” this magnetic bond come to life right before your eyes, and keeping it flowing
- Focusing on actions that feel slow, deliberate, comforting, and tender
- Letting each moment be what it needs to be, whatever that may be!
Good luck Karezza-ing tonight!
This deep dive into the Karezza Method is certainly not Dandy’s first foray into the wonderful world of spiritual sexuality. We care deeply about helping you have the most satisfying sex of your life, and will continue to offer new and intriguing ways you could explore your own sexuality and that of a partner now and forever.
Now that you know all about the Karezza method, how about you try an intimate couples’ meditation? You could explore period sex, score an invite to a sex party, or perhaps go on a healthy sex cleanse. Manifest with your genitals, go on, we have just the guide for you. Or go solo, and meet your new favourite sex toy.
Whichever way your wind blows (pardon the pun), good luck trying anything and everything that tickles your fancy, and remember to check in for more guides just like this one!